


The Bucket List

by modorenai



Category: K (Anime)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-08-27
Updated: 2015-08-27
Packaged: 2018-04-17 13:31:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,133
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4668425
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/modorenai/pseuds/modorenai
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kusanagi Izumo had never officially created a bucket list, but if he had he could quite confidently boast that most of the items on that imaginary list had already been crossed out. </p><p>Picking up male prostitutes off the street had certainly never figured on his imaginary bucket list. </p><p>But it was a dull, drippy, dreary day in Shizume City when the bartender of Bar HOMRA found himself doing exactly that. </p><p>(Aka the obligatory prostitute AU that all fandoms absolutely must have.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Bucket List

**Author's Note:**

> The idea for this fic came about mainly because of two things - one, because I came across a really awesome Kuroko no Basuke prostitute AU fic that reduced me into a quivering jelly blob of feels, and two, because I've been tearing my hair out over my multichapter MikoTata fic which I have been trying to write for TWO FREAKING YEARS but which has yet to see the light of day. QAQ
> 
> This fic started out as my attempt at writing a short silly PWP IzuTata fic during the times when I need a break from gnashing my teeth over my MikoTata fic, but somehow Mikoto sneaked his way into this fic too because I am apparently incapable of writing IzuTata without it becoming IzuTataMiko. So for those looking for a pure IzuTata fic, I'm sorry to disappoint but it won't stay that way for long. *bows for forgiveness* 
> 
> (I'll be updating the character and relationship tags as I post more chapters where those relevant characters/relationship make their appearance, but I thought I'd put up an advance warning for those who don't like ship changes in their fics.)
> 
> Finally - please excuse the bad writing. This fic is meant to be silly and dumb and not meant to be taken seriously, so I haven't agonised over the writing for this as much since it's meant to be more of a brain fodder story for me,haha.

Kusanagi Izumo had always prided himself on being more open-minded and adventurous than most people.

At the young and tender (and underaged) age of 18, he had managed to convince his Uncle to let him take over the running of his Uncle's bar, which had been in the red for as long as Kusanagi could remember. He had turned it around and back in the black within 6 months, and had also in those same 6 months already met various sorts of people from all walks of life, from hoodlums to single mothers to drunkards to bankers to 11 year old kids with moustaches drawn on with a marker and a swagger that had obviously been practised who came into the bar hoping to get a glass of that cool adult drink called whisky but left with a lollipop in their hand instead and a pat on the head from him with the words 'When you're older, ok?' said in a kindly tone. (That didn't deter his noticeably minor clientele from continuing to turn up regularly at the bar after school and he soon threw his hands up in the air and started serving his speciality omurice on the menu, with a bowl of lollipops ever ready at his side to remind the kids that a sweet reward awaited those who promised to stick to being teetotallers until they turned old enough to drink.)

He'd gambled and travelled and gotten into fights and earned money and then lost it again and even taken the long and winding road of exploring the mysteries of the fairer sex (though he could never claim to have ever unravelled those mysteries - what man could ever claim to truly understand women), and along the way he'd built up for himself a very useful network of informants and suppliers and more which he was sure would prove useful for a person running a successful bar in the seedier part of town.

So yes, if he had to say so himself, Kusanagi Izumo thought of himself as a man of the world, lady slayer extraordinaire with more than a few killer pickup lines and more savvy and street -wise than most, an adventurer who was always open to trying something new (provided it benefitted him, of course). He had never officially created a bucket list, but if he had he could quite confidently boast that most of the items on that imaginary list had already been crossed out and he was all but ready to settle down and live out the rest of his life in sedentary peace and quiet.

Picking up prostitutes off the street had certainly never figured on his imaginary bucket list. Let alone male ones.

But it was a dull, drippy, dreary day in Shizume City when the bartender of Bar HOMRA found himself doing exactly that.

He blamed it on the fact that he had been rather tipsy after being challenged to a drinking competition with one of the bar regulars, who just refused to admit defeat until he was passed out stone cold under the bar table and had to be dragged home snoring by his ankles by a friend.

He blamed it on the fact that he'd watched a documentary yesterday on the terrible life of stray animals that either died of starvation or got put down by the animal shelters that caught them since there wasn't enough space to keep them, and on the decidedly puppy dog look the hooker had thrown him after Kusanagi had drunkenly stumbled over the hooker in an alleyway and promptly puked his guts out over him. 

He blamed it on... anything, really. Because he simply could not comprehend how a woman-loving man such as himself had managed to get into a situation where he had woken up from a drunken stupor with a raging hangover only to find himself lying half dressed on his bed in own his apartment with a man (no boobs - Kusanagi had blearily reached out to confirm this by touch, and was rewarded by an appreciative grin from what Kusanagi concluded was a decidedly male man) on top of him. Said man was currently cheerfully rummaging around Kusanagi's pants in the vicinity of his crotch.

Kusanagi took a deep breath, pinched the bridge of his nose for good measure, and then firmly grabbed the hooker by the wrists with a grip that would have made Samson proud and, ignoring the little responding squeak of protest, said firmly, 'We are not doing this.'

'We're not?' Hooker (he really needed to ask the guy his name, he couldn't keep calling him that, it was disrespectful to a member of the oldest profession in the world) gazed up at him with a genuine look of surprise. Kusanagi thought he detected a hint of sulkiness in that tone and then conclude he wasn't wrong when the other man's lips tilted down slightly in a pout. (Good _God_ did he just think to himself that the pout was slightly endearing? Kusanagi firmly squashed that thought back down into the deepest darkest recesses of his mind where it belonged and promptly forgot about it.)

'We're not.' He repeated firmly, not letting up on his visor like hold on the other man's wrists.

'But then how am I supposed to practise?' The question floated through the air and hung there, unanswered in the ensuing silence as Kusanagi's brain attempted to creak back into gear. 'I'll never get good enough at this if I don't get someone to coach me! It's not easy finding a pitcher who's willing to train a newbie catcher like me you know.' Again the slightly sulky tone.

'... Practise what?' Kusanagi goggled at him once his brain had processed the question. At the mention of the words 'pitcher' and 'catcher', the vision of himself dressed up in a baseball uniform and throwing a pitch to the other man floated into his mind. But he shook his head to clear the image. It didn't seem like the other man was talking about baseball, let alone any sort of sport that he knew of. At least he had never heard of any sport that involved a bed and being undressed and being subjected to the indignity of having his nether regions explored by a stranger of the same gender.

'Practise having sex! You said you'll help me practise my technique! You know, you'll pitch and I'll catch?' Hooker grinned cheekily, making a circle with the fingers of his left hand and using the thumb of his right hand to move in and out of the opening his left hand made.

... Oh. He had meant THAT kind of pitching and catching.

That was when Kusanagi realised that he was well and truly fucked. (Perhaps in more ways than one.)


End file.
